Hypothetically, if I was told that I needed to pack up and move off the Vineyard tomorrow morning but could eat a last meal anywhere I wanted, there is no question in my mind that Zephrus would reserve a table with my name on it.

Zephrus at the Mansion Housewould be reserving a table in my name.

My absolute favorite meal of all time is a cheeseburger and fries and my obsession with this meal has become an all consuming pasttime. I have top ten lists from my travels around the country and world as well as lists for island restaurants and Zephrus tops the list of my island eateries. I survey friends, co-workers and strangers on the ferry, constantly updating and arranging my list with their list.

I’m not sure how to explain how well the bun, cheese and grass fed beef hug each other into hand-held love bites or how the hand-cut fries are like the champagne with which you toast newlyweds. Sure, you could get married without the bubbly, but why would you?

The bun is soft, flavorful and knows that its only job is to bring together the cheese and patty. It understands this well and never ever tries to upstage the main act or bring too much attention to itself and yet the show couldn’t go on without it.

I opt for Swiss but any cheese will work so don’t be bashful you cheddar lovers and provolone admirers. Zephrus melts the cheese so that it connects and becomes one with the patty, never spilling over into a gooey mess. It also maintains its shape but not so much that you wonder if the cheese has some kind of attitude and isn’t a team player.

And the patty, oh the patty, grass fed with the sweet stalks of New England meadows. This is why cows were invented. Should I come back as an animal in my next life make me a grass fed cow and let me bring smiles and full bellies to all.

Let us not forget the potato, the mighty potato whose job is to crisp in the fryer and lay in an aesthetically pleasing pile next to the beautiful burger. And the Oscar for best supporting actor goes to….the Zephrus fries.

I am a burger purist and by that I mean please don’t embarrass my burger with tomatoes, lettuce and onions. There are those of you out there who feel the need for these accessories and by all means please indulge but maybe try it once without and get the real experience of a burger.

I have to give Zephrus my highest burger rating: 4 buns!